What I did for my Winter Vacation

Skiing is probably my favorite winter vacation activity. Destinations like Vail or Aspen in Colorado, or Park City, Utah are among my favorites. Alternatively, I could totally get into a beautiful and warm beach resort. But that's not what the stars had in mind for me this year. This year I spent my winter vacation in Poland and the Ukraine.  As I write this I am on a bus to a graveyard in Parysov, Poland after spending Shabbat near Warsaw. Perhaps a bit incongruous but allow me to explain.

As my interest in finding purpose and meaning in the things I do has grown, I have found tremendous meaning in visiting the burial spots of the Righteous or Tzadikim. Years ago I would have taken a skeptical view of this idea. I have been to Hebron to visit Abraham and our other Patriarchs and Matriarchs, and Rachel nearby. I have also gone to visit my grandparents who are buried in Israel. Mostly, my thinking on these activities fell into one or both of 2 perspectives; either to pay my respects or to demonstrate the importance of the site to the rest of the world.  These no longer represent my primary motivations for these visits. 

What could be the purpose and meaning behind visiting a Tzadik's grave site? Why go to a cemetery in the first place? Not exactly an uplifting or inspiring place. Death is like that. Depressing. Even when visiting my grandparents, I thought perhaps at least maybe they know I'm here. But are they here? They're dead! I could think of the happy times we spent together or how funny and loving they were. But I could do that in the comfort of my home. No need to do that surrounded by reminders of death. But when I think about my cemetery visits years ago, there was something else going on for me. Like many feelings I've had about other life experiences, these feelings are sometimes hard to describe. Mostly because the feelings they elicit fall into the category of life experiences that are not necessarily shared with others. So language falls short in trying to describe the experience. Kind of like a dream. 

What I felt can best be described as a comfortable feeling. Not like sitting on a comfy couch. More like a warm relaxed feeling. As I have come to understand my feelings better over the past several years, I've observed that these feelings are influenced by the surroundings I find myself in. On a simple level, when you walk into a room you can sometimes sense the stress, anger or levity of the people there. When I am on a beach I find the energy near the water to be very calming.  There is an energy to be found in all places. Some are easier to feel or identify than others.  But the surroundings themselves determine the energy that one feels. 

The same can be said of visiting the burial site for a Tzadik. Our heritage teaches us that their life, teachings and values represent their essential energy. This can be sensed in their books and at their final resting place in the physical world. A metaphysical portal to the essence of their souls. When we visit these places our souls become infused with a portion of their souls. And we are forever changed by this encounter. This has been my journey this winter. 

In all we visited the Baal Shem Tov in Medzhybizh, R. Elimelech of Lyzansk, Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, the Chozeh (Seer) of Lublin, the Magid of Mezritch, Rav Zusha of Anipol and others. Enduring long bus rides and hiking through harsh weather conditions with just a couple of hours sleep each night. Each place felt a little different. The Kabbalistic Rabbis I travelled with shared the wisdom of these Righteous souls at each stop. We lit candles to manifest a physical connection. And prayed for healing for those we knew of who needed it. 

The Seer of Lublin was aptly though paradoxically named. While he was blind he had the gift of an ability to see deep spiritual truths in the souls of those he met. Part of what I hope I gained from this experience is a deeper understanding of my spiritual truths. The insight to see my failings and the strength to do something about them. Internal changes I hope will last well beyond the time it takes for tan lines to fade.